Restoring a Trustworthy Family
(Proverbs 11:29, Acts 10:2)
With the disappearance of the authoritarian patriarchal system, the wife’s authority in the home is growing, while the husband is being pushed to the back. Husbands are being devalued as individuals who only care about making money and avoiding major incidents.
Conversely, the mother’s role has grown significantly, with the wife becoming the center of the family. So much so that there’s even a joke that says, “If the husband is holding the dog when moving, they won’t abandon it and take it with them.”
It may be a joke, but husbands of all ages have different stories of being beaten by their wives. A man in his 40s was beaten for asking what the side dishes were, a man in his 50s was beaten for asking, “Where is she coming from yet?”
A man in his 60s was beaten for asking, “Where are we going?”, a man in his 70s was beaten for touching while sleeping, and a man in his 80s was beaten for waking up in the morning. These jokes clearly demonstrate the detachment of men’s authority from the family. They demonstrate the breakdown of the biblical order of the family.
The words of Proverbs are being fulfilled in our families, almost like prophecy: “He who troubles his own home will gain wind; but a fool will be servant to the wise in heart.” (Proverbs 11:29)
Having served as an immigrant pastor in the United States for many years, I have officiated at marriages not only for bicultural families but also for second-generation immigrants. Sadly, I have witnessed many families that have failed to maintain their bonds and have fallen apart.
How many families are falling apart today? Or are we living as mere shells of a couple? Families are crumbling, and even the younger generation is becoming increasingly unwilling to form families, a trend known as “non-marriage.”
Why do people choose not to marry or have children? High housing costs and the high cost of education are certainly a factor. But can these factors fully explain the family crisis?
If so, why is divorce on the rise at a time when life should be stable? Are you happy in your family? Most people answer yes to the question: are you satisfied with your family?
However, according to a survey by Korea’s “Central Council for Living Right,” many families appear unhealthy. 33% of families don’t even talk to their children for 10 minutes a day, and 14% don’t share their concerns with their family. This leads to fathers becoming busy, and being busy makes them unhappy.
Less than 30% of families engage in leisure activities together, 32% don’t eat together even once or twice a month, and 32% meet with their parents less than 10 times a year.
The divorce rate has more than tripled in the past 10 years. This has led to a rise in broken families, leading to a roughly 3.2-fold increase in juvenile delinquency. Domestic discord is said to account for 20% of suicidal impulses.
How can we restore our crumbling families? The bond between a family is love. Love absolutely requires a role model. Without a role model, we lose direction. The same holds true for families.
We must rediscover the model of family in the Bible. In Noah’s family, we learn to obey our parents’ faith and respect them. In Abraham’s family, we learn that children are not our own but a gift from God.
In Isaac’s family, we learn that we do not choose our spouses, but that God, like destiny, determines our fate. From Jacob’s example, we learn that having many children is the key to blessings.
The most important thing is love based on faith. Without faith, love crumbles. Even if others cannot be trusted, a true family is one in which we can trust our family.
A family without faith strives to prove everything through its own strength. The husband tries to prove himself worthy to his wife, the wife to her husband, the children to their parents, and the parents to their children.
You cannot imagine how exhausting this can be. The husband deliberately feigns strength, and the wife insists she is superior to him and should be grateful for their company.
Children strive to prove themselves, seeking to monopolize their parents’ love. What a painful reality this is in families.
The restoration of Eden is the restoration of the family.
It is a family that is “naked but not ashamed.” It is a relationship of trust and love where one is not ashamed even when each other’s faults are exposed. What can restore this? Cornelius’ family demonstrates this.
“He was a devout man and feared God with all his household. He gave alms generously to the people and prayed to God always” (Acts 10:2).
He built a family altar and worshipped God “with all his household.”
When we trust in God, trust in the family is restored. When we love God, the love between family members is restored and unwavering. Build a family altar. Read the Bible together and share prayer requests. It’s easy when we do it together. And then, just go back to the basics. Back to the basics!
God! Please help us build a family altar.
Please restore our family.
Please, let us go back to the basics.
In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.
