Loving the Unlovable
Matt. 5:44
What do you do when someone cuts you off in traffic or a friend has offended you?
Do you become hurt by the thoughtless or deliberate actions done toward you?
Do you immediately forgive those who hurt you, or do you sulk with feelings of unforgiveness?
How do you typically react?
Jesus tells us that our behavior must radically differ from that of the world: “I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matt. 5:44).
So what should you do when someone offends you? Follow these basic steps to ensure a Christ-centered response.
1. Forgive the offender.
Hurt, when not addressed properly, turns into bitterness and an unforgiving spirit. Through the grace of Jesus Christ, you have the spiritual resources to forgive others (Matt. 18:21–35; Eph. 4:32).
When you release someone of a debt he or she owes, you are no longer bound by a spirit of unforgiveness or bitterness. You are free to see that individual as Christ does—anger no longer has the power to rule your life and decisions.
Forgiveness does not mean that what the person did was right. It means that you have turned him or her over to God. You are no longer holding on to the unforgiveness, and you are free to live fully for Jesus Christ.
2. Seek to understand before you seek to be understood.
Practice the skill of listening, and try to imagine the perspective of the offender.
What might have motivated his actions? What is going on in his or her life? Many times, a person who hurts you is also a victim of hurt.
Understanding the offender’s private pain could be a key step toward reconciliation or preventing further conflicts.
3. Speak with noncombative yet truthful words.
Speaking the truth in love does not mean that your words will lack impact. Sometimes the truth can be very unsettling, and the individual who has wounded you may need to grapple with some tough issues regarding his or her thoughtless actions toward you.
Only the Lord can work in a person’s heart. You can pressure him or her for an apology, but God is the One who must convict the other person that what he or she has done is wrong.
Your best course of action is to extend patience, love, and forgiveness because this is what the Lord extends to you.
And one day even your “worst enemy” could become your best friend in Christ.
Whatever the result, you can be sure of God’s blessing as you seek His way of dealing with those who hurt you.
